What IS a slut anyway?

By Shari Levine

What's YOUR rep?

Labels. They're not just on food wrappers and clothes. People get labeled too, like a kind of human packaging. Labeling is what we do to single people out when we are in a group, especially at school. Some labels are positive while others are so bad that they can ruin a girl's reputation, AND her life. You probably know a few lucky girls in your school who are popular - the ultimate label that most of us want.

Labels are sometimes based on what you have, such as a talent or skill. Girls who are athletic may be labeled jocks, smart girls are geeks or brains, and artsy girls are weird.

Sometimes labels are based on the way you look or act. A girl who wears glasses is sometimes called a dork, and a girl who has short hair and wears jeans and tee shirts is a tomboy. A shy girl is snobby, and a free spirited girl who wears hippie clothes is grungy. Goth girls are dressed in black from head to toe, but what about the girl who walks tall, bears her belly and flaunts her breasts? Is she a slut?

Never judge a book by its cover.

Does every kid who listens to rap belong to a gang? Are people who wear glasses really smart, or do they just have bad eyesight? Is a girl who wears sexy clothes promiscuous (having sex with lots of boys,) or does she just feel comfortable and confident in her body? We all make assumptions about people based on the way they look. This year the clothing fashions for girls show a lot of skin - bellies and bottoms are busting out everywhere. Low cut spaghetti strap tanks and low-rise shorts are in. In the past these styles were only worn by girls who wanted to be noticed by guys - you know, those girls who were not afraid to look sexy.

So, what is a slut?

Since we can no longer spot a slut in skimpy clothes, we need a new definition. Is a slut a girl who:

A. is comfortable in her skin, even when she has begun to develop breasts and curves?

B. wears tight or revealing clothes that bring attention to her body?

C. is a threat and makes other girls jealous?

D. gives up who she is and becomes only her body and wants sex for approval?

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." ~former President Bill Clinton

Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilara are not sluts. They are very comfortable in their skin, wear tight and revealing clothes that bring lots of attention to their bodies and may make other girls and women jealous. Girls who dress sexy may be just saying that looking sexy does not necessarily mean that you are having sex. Girl Zone defines a slut as: a girl who gives up who she is by defining herself only through her body and using sex to get approval and to feel loved and adored.

Most girls who are called sluts are mislabeled. But labels like slut hurt deeply and are hard to shake. Sexuality is an exciting and confusing topic for most teens. Many girls get little more than a new bra and a box of tampons as sex education from their parents. For better or worse, we learn the rest from our sisters, friends and the media.

As you go back to school this fall make a fresh start. Put a new attitude in your backpack. Here's how:

• Walk tall like the goddess you are. Some girls slouch or hide their bodies in big clothes because they are afraid of getting a bad reputation. Resist the temptation to do this and remember that you are not a slut if you like your body!
• Spread the message: a girl is not a slut just because she likes her body. Wearing stylish clothes does not mean you are having sex.
• Stop labeling other girls - you don't know what they are doing with boys, so don't call them sluts.

"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." ~  John Wooten, former coach of the UCLA basketball team.