I’m so happy I had the opportunity to interview author Kate MacHugh about her experience being bullied in school. She is an amazing, resilient person and I wanted to share her story. I hope it empowers you.

~Erica

Kate MacHugh is a confident, insightful young woman, who celebrates her inner and outer beauty.  It wasn’t always this way, though. Her difficult journey in middle and high school was full of self-doubt and pain, but has shaped the strong person she is today.  

Rewind to 7^th grade year, when Kate was in her self- described, “not cute, awkward phase”. (As many of us are in middle school.) In her world, appearance was everything and not having the latest Ugg boots was social suicide. Unfortunately, she was clueless when it came to fashion and a bit of a hot mess. Little Pony glitter t-shirts, out of control acne and makeup that resembled Michael Jackson on a bad day made her a prime target for bullies. Everyone was figuring out who was cool and what groups they fit into, but she couldn’t find her place. The mean girls, who also happened to be popular athletes and leaders in the school, would do anything to make her life hell. Having no one to sit with at lunch and drinks dumped on her tray became her norm. Things even got physical as she was shoved into lockers. Embarrassing her seemed to be the mean girl’s favorite past time. She remembers talking to a classmate about a guy around school named Todd. One of the mean girls overheard her convo and told Kate that he had a crush on her. She convinced Kate to meet at his locker after class. She followed and was devastated, realizing she was the joke, as a group of students’ laughter taunted her.

Kate had never encountered people that didn’t like her, so this was a foreign experience. She came from a loving, caring family and couldn’t understand why girls were so mean. She tried to reach out for help at school, but nothing worked. Of course, the mean girls would deny any bullying and her principal told her to “toughen up”. Kate felt defeated, but her parents had taught her to be independent and she wanted to handle this on her own. Plus, she felt too embarrassed telling her parents what was truly going on.

Things went from bad to worse when she entered high school and the cyber bullying began. After school, she would log onto her computer only to find awful, threatening messages that called her a slut, disgusting and told her to kill herself. “Hearing how ugly and worthless you are over and over, you start to believe it,” she shares. Even though her supportive parents were building her up with praise, it was irrelevant because she desperately wanted to be accepted by her peers. She felt worthless and as her self-esteem plummeted, she contemplated suicide. It was her love for her parents that prevented her from harming herself. She also never lost sight of her future goals, dreaming of leaving the drama of high school behind and entering college.

That sweet day finally came and she was shocked by the kindness of her classmates. “While in college, I worked on my self- esteem because I hated myself, I felt unlovable, and I thought if anyone wanted to be my friend, they had issues,” she confesses. She was receiving very different messages in college, though, even being called the “Hot Jersey girl”. College was a wonderful experience because she came to a life changing realization. "She knew this transition was not about becoming someone better, but about finally allowing herself to become who she’d always been." Embracing her new found sense of self, she became president of the Junior Class, made close friends and began to finally love herself. She did this by transforming the negative messages in her head into positive mantras. Her favorite message is, “You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and your life is worth living.”

Kate overcame her obstacles and came out on top. She is 24 years old, living in New Jersey and is excited to be graduating soon with her Masters Degree in social work from Stockton College. She doesn’t want anyone to suffer like she did, so she speaks out against bullying at schools across the country. If you are being bullied, Kate encourages you to get help. Looking back, she wishes she would have confided in her parents because no one should face bullying alone. Reach out to a teacher, parent or coach and don’t suffer in silence. “A lot of young girls have tunnel vision and think that their pain is never going to end and there is no light at the end. You have to figure out what that light is going to be for yourself. For me it was college.” In the end, this to what Kate has to say to her bullies.

“You did however give me strength and resolve I would not have gained otherwise. Now, I am stronger, more beautiful, and ready to tell my story. So thank you pretty, popular, mean girl, I am better than ever.”

Visit Kate’s website www.katemachugh and put her book, Ugly: The Story of a Bullied Girl, on top of your summer reading list!