By Shari Levine

At Girl Zone, we read tons of emails from girls and talk to our readers about what's going on in their lives. When we decided to write an article about drinking alcohol and drugs, we didn't want to give you the same old "Just say No"speech because we know that it's much more complicated than that. So, we decided to let Tammy, a Girl Zone reader, tell you about a conversation she had with her older sister...

"My name is Tammy, and I am fourteen years old. I'm in 9th grade. This is the first year I really noticed my friends and other kids in school drinking and smoking pot. I guess I was just too busy with other stuff to see what was going on, but now that I am in high school, it seems like everyone has been drunk at least once, and some have smoked pot."

"My parents try to talk to me about stuff, but they don't get it! They're all about "just tell you friends that you don't drink," or "don't hang out with people who drink." They don't understand that everyone drinks and if I don't then I'll have no friends!!"

"I have a sister, Veronica, who just turned 18. She's a senior in high school and she knows a lot about friends and school stuff. She's really pretty and popular now but she had a rough time with her friends when she was younger. Since my parents don't really get it, I decided to ask Veronica to help me deal with all the partying going in my school. Here's what we talked about:"

Tammy: "It feels like everyone drinks and smokes pot, especially the popular kids. I feel like a loser when I'm not partying."

Veronica: "I felt that way when I was in 9th grade too. Even though it seems like everyone is doing it, they're really not. I know that because we did a project in health class about drinking and the teacher said that most high school students don't drink regularly. I guess that a few kids talk about it a lot so it seems like everyone's doing it. One thing you should know is that when people drink they tend to say and do dumb things, like the time my friend was drunk and kissed her best friend's boyfriend by mistake. She really felt like a loser!"

Tammy: "But sometimes I get shy and it seems like drinking makes you more friendly and fun at parties."

Veronica: "Sure, drinking can make people feel less shy but it's a fake feeling. I learned that the hard way. One time I had a drink at a party and talked to a bunch of hot basketball players who I would never have talked to when I was sober. They were pretty nice to me but when we got back to school on Monday, I overheard them were talking about what a goofball I was. It really hurt my feelings because when I was at the party I thought I was being all cute and funny, but they didn't!"

Tammy: "Some of my friends drink and when we go out I know they're going to push me to have one too. What am I supposed to do if I don't want to drink?"

Veronica: "It's really hard to say no when you know it's going to make your friend mad. When I am going to a party where kids are drinking, I try to plan out a way to say no when someone offers me a drink ahead of time. I usually just say "no thanks" and try to change the subject so they don't start bugging me about why I am not drinking. It's so hard when kids won't leave you alone about your drinking choices, so it's really important to know what you're going to say in advance and stick with it."

Tammy: "It seems like the kids who drink have so much fun and I never hear about bad stuff happening to them."

Veronica: "I thought that too until we did that alcohol project in health class. Kids who drink are more likely to get into fights, destroy property (vandalize), have unprotected sex, and do badly in school. When you're drinking you are more likely to do things that you wouldn't do while you're sober, like get into a car with a drunk driver or walk home alone from a party late at night."

Girl Zone believes that you can take healthy risks and feel great highs when you succeed at new things. It's not about getting high -- instead it's about feeling awesome about yourself when you achieve something. For example, writing a story can feel great and seeing your work published on a website (like Girl Zone) or in a newspaper feels amazing! Check with your local newspaper to see if they have a Young Writers section and submit your story.

Learning to play an instrument is an accomplishment and playing in the band during football games takes that good feeling and "bumps it up a notch." Or, if you're into drama, try out for the school play and see what a rush it feels like to be on the stage, performing in front of all your friends and family.

These are a few examples of the old saying "get high on life." The more "healthy highs" you get from developing your skills at sports, theater, or music, the LESS you are going to want to drink or do drugs and the easier it will be to "just say no."