Why we judge other people by their weight

By Shari Levine

How much do you weigh?
Really, how much? Just tell me. And please, don't lie.

Does this feel like an invasion? It may not right now, but at some point in many girls' lives this question causes major stress. Keep reading to find out why otherwise secure people freak out about numbers they see on a scale

Your attitudes about weight, shape, and body size are developed when you are very young. We are all born loving the way we look. To see how true this is, just watch a baby play with her feet or stick her hands in her mouth. She is not judging her body parts, wishing her feet were smaller, or that her fingernails were longer. She is only amazed at her discovery of these fascinating body parts. Unfortunately, this healthy, confident baby will grow up in a culture that worships a specific type of body that she may or may not have inherited.

From an early age, she will learn that fat is bad, and thin is good. In one study, six year old kids were shown a picture of an overweight child. They described the child (who they had never met) as lazy, dirty, stupid, ugly, and one who cheats and lies. These kids are just repeating what they heard from their parents, other kids, and the media. Seems like an innocent and normal thing to do when you are six, right?

But what if you are the fat kid? What if you are the one that everyone thinks is a stupid, ugly, cheater?

As girls grow up, they spend a lot of time comparing their bodies to friends', models', actresses, and siblings'. To a certain extent, it is normal to be interested in how your body looks compared to other people your age. Here's my story:

Most girls' attitudes about body size, shape, and fat are pretty much developed by the time puberty starts (at around age twelve or thirteen). During puberty girls grow about 10 to 12 inches and gain about 40 to 50 pounds. Many girls begin to gain weight before they gain height and go through an awkward, temporarily overweight stage.

When I was 13, for the first time in my life I was fat, and had to deal with all the comments and jokes that come with being overweight in our society.

Rose, a skinny girl who I was friends with (but not for long), nicknamed me "Chubbles McGee." She thought it was hysterically funny, and before I knew it, all my classmates were calling me Chubbles, C.M., or CC McGee. I started to worry that nobody would like me now that I was fat.

The jokes I had heard my whole life about other people who were fat suddenly applied to me. People called me "pleasantly plump," "short for my weight," and "vertically challenged." I even got the so-called compliment, "You have such a pretty face." In my opinion, this is a nice way of saying, "You could be pretty if you just lost some weight." Instead of recognizing this as phase that I would grow out of, I assumed that this was how I was going to look forever. There was only one answer-- go on a diet.

What is a girl supposed to do when she gains weight? Celebrate her weight gain? Maybe. But more likely she will try to lose the weight through dieting (which I do not recommend). Dieting means different things to different people. Basically, I define dieting as significantly decreasing the amount of food you eat in order to lose weight. Some people think dieting means not eating much at all, or eating only certain low-calorie or fat-free foods. Others think dieting means going on a commercial weight loss program like Slim Fast or Jenny Craig.

Dieting is extremely unhealthy and can negatively affect every aspect of your life. If a girl diets before she is fully grown, she can delay, and in some cases stop her physical and emotional development. This will make her feel out of place with her peers.

Think about the last time you skipped a meal or did not eat for a long time. Not eating enough can make you feel moody, irritable, tired, and weak.

Dieting can affect your concentration in school, and therefore can affect your grades. If you are always hungry or thinking about food and your body, you will become so focused on yourself and how you look that you will begin to miss out on a lot of fun things in school, with your friends, and family.

So, what can a girl do to be healthy, and maybe even lose a few pounds (no guarantees)? Here are my suggestions:

1. Don't diet!! Need I say more?
2. Learn to eat NORMALLY. Normal eating means eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. It is what we all do as children before psychological and social factors mess up our natural feeding process. Listen to your body for clues about when you are hungry, what foods you are hungry for, and when you are satisfied. Your body knows what it needs, and many experts believe that if you listen carefully to your body's cues about food you will settle into a healthy, comfortable weight.
3. Get moving. Human beings are designed to be physically active. I know, many of you are stuck sitting in classes for some of the day. But after school you can do lots of fun and active things outside. For example, take an adventure walk with a friend, play soccer or basketball, go for a bike ride, or go sledding. Exercise can not only help you increase your physical fitness, it can make you feel better, reduce stress, and can be a great way to meet friends.
4. Look at your family to see what body type you inherited. Take a careful look at the size and shape of your parents' bodies. Your body probably looks a lot like some combination of your parents' bodies. Also, look at pictures of other people in your family like your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins to get a better idea of what body types you could have inherited.
5. Become aware of what you say about your own and others' bodies. Do you talk about your body a lot? Ask friends if you look fat? Do you comment on other peoples' bodies? The only way to stop prejudice against fat people is to change the way you think about fat. Stop talking about fat, bodies, and food. Try to think of other things to say instead. When you catch yourself thinking about your body, how you look, or what you just ate, think about what a waste of time it is, and try to think about or do something more productive.
6. Appreciate all different body shapes and sizes. Find beauty in each and every person.

Some people believe that our culture's emphasis on keeping women thin is a way of keeping them dependent, weak, and out of powerful positions like political office or decision-making positions in a corporation. Focusing on how you look all the time keeps you from developing other important parts of your life. If women are always dieting to be thin, they will not have the energy or time to devote place. What do you think?

BECOME AWARE

Adapted from Making Peace With Food
by Susan Kano

NORMAL EATING

I love this quote by Ellyn Satter, a dietitian and author of several books on nutrition:

Normal eating is being able to eat when you are hungry and continue eating until you are satisfied. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful when they are fresh. Normal eating is overeating at times: feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. It is also undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life. In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your emotions, your schedule, your hunger and your proximity to food.

IMPORTANT GOALS TO KEEP IN MIND

• See your body as a trusted and treasured home for yourself to enjoy and use fully, rather than as an object to be beautified.
• Notice beauty in everyone around you.
• Respect all people regardless of their size
• Stop using your weight as a measure of your personal value; value yourself for who you are.

Adapted from Making Peace With Food by Susan Kano